The Mum uniform: are you shrinking yourself without realising?

If you’ve ever looked at your wardrobe and wondered when it became a rotation of black leggings and oversized tops, you’re not alone. So many of us default to the same practical, safe clothes every day—not because we don’t care, but because life is busy, messy, and full of small people who don’t hesitate to wipe their hands (or faces) on whatever we’re wearing.

And sometimes, that’s just life. There’s no shame in choosing comfort or practicality. But when that becomes all we reach for, we need to ask ourselves:

Are we dressing for ease, or are we dressing to disappear?

Are We Shrinking Ourselves?

I want you to take a moment to think about how you feel in your relationships—with your partner, with your children, with friends, at work.

• Do you ever feel unheard?

• Do you ever feel like an afterthought?

• Do you feel like your needs are dismissed, your feelings brushed off, or like you exist to accommodate everyone else?

Now, be really honest with yourself—are you treating yourself the same way?

Because the way we dress is often, amongst other things, a reflection of how we see ourselves. If we’re constantly choosing clothes that make us blend into the background, that don’t express who we are, that say, “I’m just here to get things done”, then it’s no surprise if that’s how we’re treated too.

And it’s frustrating, isn’t it? We want to be seen, heard, and taken seriously, yet so many of us have unconsciously made choices—whether in what we wear, how we speak up (or don’t), or how we prioritise ourselves—that reinforce the very thing we resent.

Clothing Won’t Fix Everything—But It’s a Powerful First Step

Let’s be clear: changing how you dress won’t magically transform your relationships overnight. It won’t suddenly make a partner more attentive or a boss more appreciative (and warning; it definitely won’t make those little darling magically listen). BUT, what it will do is shift something inside you.

Because when you start dressing in a way that says, I matter, you start believing it. And when you believe it, others pick up on it too.

This isn’t about vanity or spending hours getting ready. It’s about reclaiming a bit of yourself—through colour, through texture, through clothing that shifts your mindset and perspective:

• It’s about wearing something that makes you feel seen, even if it’s just for yourself.

• It’s about making a choice that reminds you that you are more than a service provider in your own home.

• It’s about stepping out of the background—not just in your clothes, but in your life.

Tomorrow morning, when you get dressed, pause for a moment. Ask yourself:

"Am I choosing this because it reflects me? Or because it helps me disappear?"

And if it’s the latter, stop take a sec and make a different choice today. Even just one small thing. Something you save for ‘better days’, a piece of jewellery, colourful trainers but never wear.

Because you deserve to be seen, heard, and valued—not just by others, but by yourself.

Remember…

You don’t need permission to take up space.

To feel good in your own skin.

To wear something that makes you smile.

To feel uplifted, important and seen.

Your clothes are going to get dirty - that’s life! (and why washing machines exist!)

The leggings and oversized tops are not the enemy until they become your constant default.

Do allow the frustrations of others making you feel unseen and unheard be rooted in how you treat yourself.

Dressing different will not change your life instantly but it’s an amazing signal to your subconscious that ‘I MATTER TOO’ Because you deserve that. You always have.